Red Head, Hot Head, Red Hot Red

It just so happens that I am one of the select 2% of the world’s population blessed with red tresses. Only 2% of us running around in the world. Seems hard to believe given that in my group of friends there are 3 or 4 of us.

Being a redhead can be a blessing and a curse. There are so many stereotypes about redheads, such as: we are all hot tempered, we are wild in bed, we are witches, and things of that nature. (Please hold comments.)

Growing up as a redhead can be tough. I always get asked the stupidest questions and called the most ridiculous names. So I was delighted to find the following article by Meg Ginnetty for you all to read (don’t complain about length, just read):

***I recently discovered that I am a minority.

While I never had the opportunity to check off a box (they don't list "redhead" anywhere on Loyola's application) or receive government funding, I do represent a much overlooked, practically extinct breed. Redheads represent only two percent of the world's population, and -- believe it or not -- we have been the objects of quiet persecution throughout history.

In ancient Egypt, the color red was superstitiously regarded as so unlucky that ceremonies were held to burn redheaded maidens alive to preserve the well-being of the Egyptian community.

During the witch-hunting era of the 1600s, women with red hair were suspected of witchcraft and either burned at the stake or drowned. In Corsica, redheads were spit at on the street.

And even to this day -- in our very own country and college community -- redheads continue to suffer from well-disguised discrimination.

In the hopes of establishing a better, clearer dialogue between my people and the majority of blondes and brunettes on this campus, here are some tips from a redhead who knows firsthand what it's like to feel stereotyped.

I give you:

"The Top Five Things Every Redhead Never Wants to Hear...But You'll Probably Tell Her Anyway."

1. "Are you guys twins?"

Kevin Hanrahan has been my partner in crime since freshman year of high school, and while I treasure him as a friend and respect him as a fellow redhead, we are in no way related for the following reasons: One, Kevin is almost twice as tall as me; two, I weigh approximately two times as much as Kevin; and three, Kevin's eyes are blue, and I like to think of mine as a rather sparkling shade of green.

Sorry to disappoint anyone whom we have been lying to for the past four years, but no, shocking as it may seem, we are not twins. We are just two unique individuals who happen to share the same recessive trait.

2. "You look just like Nicole Kidman!" (I have to admit, I kind of like this one) Unfortunately, this line has only been used on me on rare occasions; twice, to be exact. Once, by a guy at a bar (who followed up with the charming "So, you wanna go back to my place and get a pizza? What ... you don't like pizza?!?"), and another time, by a sweet old woman in church (who turned out to be blind in one eye).

In the interest of preserving my fragile redheaded ego, I have to advise against this statement because, let's face it: I look about as much like Ms. Kidman as Carrot Top does (though, certainly, we are all beautiful in our own special, sometimes inexplicable, ways).

3. "Do the curtains match the carpet?"

This is just tacky. Simply put: if you ask me this question, you're pretty much guaranteed to never find out the answer. (Unless you're Brad Pitt. In that case, you're more than welcome to check out the interior design.)

4. "I love your orange hair."

I went through a phase where I tried to pass off my locks as strawberry blonde, an obvious lie. Then I tried auburn, gold -- even copper -- but no one was buying it. So, I have resigned myself to the fact that my hair is red. With that said ...

Don't you ever, EVER call my hair orange. I would rather be compared to a sunset or -- even a stop sign -- than the Great Pumpkin. Thank you.

5. "Don't you know people would die for that color?"

Granted, I only get this one from my hair-dresser, Doreen, a 40-year-old homemaker who claims that she would martyr herself in the name of the late Paul Mitchell. At the same time, I must stress to Doreen -- and to all of you -- that yes, women did indeed die for this color (Moment of silence).

Well, I've said my piece. Please understand that I'm not asking for affirmative action (though free admission to Mick O'Shea's would be much appreciated) -- just a little understanding and ix-nay on the orange-nay.

We are part of a grand tradition -- from Eric the Red and Vincent Van Gogh to Conan O'Brien and our national treasure, Reba McEntire -- but, again, we are in no way related, and we would be so grateful if you would finally realize this.

I'll leave you with this quote:

"Out of the ash, I rise with my red hair and eat men like air." (Sylvia Plath)

Actually...that's a little scary! How about this one:

"Man, you ain't lived 'till you've had your tires rotated by a redheaded woman." (Bruce Springsteen) ***

I love this article for many reasons, primarily because all of the above has happened to me (yes, even the Nicole Kidman thing). More on being a redhead later.